Category Archives: Angie Moates

Power to heal from injurious interactions

Wounds that we retain can get projected into conversation.  What we hold onto stagnates. For this moment empty into what is.  Layers of resistance prevent us from experiencing the depth of what is offered continuously.  We do not have to absorb or retain what is happening.   Who is recognizing what is behind projected commentary?  Ego? Observer? Releasing becomes revealing.


Dr. Joe Dispenza

On Mother’s Day, my friend Angie shared a story with me about a chiropractor, Dr. Joe Dispenza.  While running a triathlon, Dr. Joe was run over by a truck. He was told he needed an operation that would probably leave him paralyzed. Instead, for eleven weeks he lay on his back using his mind to visualize his back in healthy formation.  The result was that he was able to get up and go back to seeing his patients. He did this without surgery or needing a body brace.  Here is a link to his discussion of the event:

On Monday, Julia and I listened to David Miscavige’s father Ron talk about escaping from Scientology.  It took him six months to get away from a compound where they did not allow him contact with the outside world.  We thought of similar cases of people escaping from certain oppressive Hassidic, Mormon, Islamic, Christian and other extreme communities.  There are always splinter groups who try to imprison individuals into group scenarios that serve a few who are distorting, even liberating ideas into a form of human trafficking.

Last night, my mom and aunt were in town and we saw the Broadway play The Humans.  It showed how members of a single family could become like these splinter groups. By holding onto secrets and regrets, insults, our judgements and disappointments can get lobbed back and forth. This can keep everyone down. Instead of supporting one another, the family tie can also keep us tethered to the point where even love becomes stagnant.

The Humans

I am incredibly grateful to have such a loving and supportive family, which prompts me to be loving and supportive to those around me.  Still, I recognize that sometimes interactions with those close to us, either family or in our community can feel like getting run over by a truck.  Like Dr. Joe Dispenza, we can use the power of our visualization and intention to heal and become whole again.

As I finished writing this, Julia and I were talking and noticed that use of power is an additional theme. We remembered Ron Miscavige stating that his son assumed the power to take over the Scientology empire. Literally stating “power is not given, it is assumed”.

Dr. Joe utilized a similar principle, but for healing. Literally stating, “The power that made the body, heals the body.”

Thank you for your loving being.  May we survive being victims and use our power to become the healers of our concentric heart.

Not Fade Away


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My friend Angie sent me this link to a talk by Mooji, a master teacher she really connects with.

I found a moment to listen while I was sorting socks on my bed. Tuning into what he was saying, I put the socks away and lay on the bed.

“What if for a moment, you cease trying? No effort, but take it seriously. No identity, no reference to past, no intention about the future, no definition about anything. Let’s try it and see. Your mind will say, “I want to “do” nothing.” I’m not talking to him now. You are not waiting, leave everything. Not concentrating, no effort. You’re not in any gear, you don’t touch name, you don’t touch gender. No waiting, no expectation. No imagination, no time is there, no interpretation. Not suppressing, stay as you are. Nothing to manage, nothing to heal, nothing to fix. Be conscious of your consciousness.”

I had a saxophone teacher named Saffron who taught me music theory. She would say, you have to learn all this but when you are playing you can’t think of it, you just have to be there. My recent meditation practice has been so structured, with so many things to think about, this invitation to not think, to not imagine, or hold onto identity clicked into an expansive consciousness that has always been present. It was all around me, I was a part of it and expanded without effort into a heightened state of being. Mooji continued,

“You do not wish to bring in any corrupt state or belief into this. You are determining your reality. You are determining whether a thought is going to distract you so that you forget your Self , so to speak and enter into fluctuating states again. And even if that happens are you able to bring yourself back to your Self again, as it were, In a flash?

…When you identify “I” as a person, you welcome the whole family. “I” will bring the cousins, the uncles, the aunties, and the drunk friends. Thoughts will not have the potency, the virility, the audacity to confront you, they cannot intimidate the pure Self, they can only intimidate the idea you have of who you are, your self- image. The whole thing is spectacularly fantastic.”

What he was saying went deeper than words and it was spectacularly fantastic. It was clear, it was freeing and quite a tremendous rush.

“Can it fade? Is it merely a feeling? If it’s a feeling it will come and go, it’s not really a feeling…

Is it belief? Belief changes us.

Is it something you have to keep up?

Is this true? Ask this not from the outer place but from the inner place.”

The next day I got up and was still in it. I felt I had woke- in. I went to Brooklyn and sang for a preschool and we had the best time. I took the train back and was still in it. My heart was singing and I thought, “This could be it. I may have this now forever.”

By that evening “Mr. Mind” had taken back over and I was so disappointed that my thoughts took the elevator down to the basement.

The next morning while driving to NJ, Julia and I listened to Terry Pratchett and I reveled in the unique liberated fun he offered us. Then I was able to see the snow as we drove along in its intended splendor. I was singing for families that morning. They were so joyous and danced; everything was sweet and rich again. I was aware of how grateful I was for my life.

So, I hadn’t become enlightened but I was still connected and had access. I had just let my thoughts bite me.

“The thoughts will try and bite you but your real self is unbiteable.

There is an idea that in order to live in this world I cannot stay in my heart, and that is not true.

Look not just with your mind but with your fullness. It is closer than intimacy, there is no distance.

Don’t talk about the self, be the self.

Why this loyalty to that which does not serve you?

You are determining your reality. If a thought is going to distract you and enter into fluctuating states again.

You have to be willing to burn this forest down, the forest of misconceptions, false identity. Why this loyalty to that which does not serve you?” – Mooji

May our training allow for a sincere letting go, so that we are able to experience the love that as the song says will, “Not Fade Away!”

Facing the bully within

Talking with my friend Angie Sunday night we discussed not allowing ourselves to be bullied. She said her bully these days was herself.  We laughed and she described the thoughts that came in and told her what she needed to do.
“It’s time to move somewhere else…do this and that.”  She said, when it is time to move, it will become apparent to her. She doesn’t need to become stressed out about that or force herself into conventionality.  I pointed out that some of it is intuition but when we can recognize the thoughts and ideas for what they are, we can act on them or let go and be aware of when they are manifesting, especially if they are something we actually want and are not being coerced into by our mind along with unconscious society expectations and pressures. If Angie didn’t originally acknowledge that she was having thoughts of moving, then when she gets the opportunity or it manifests, she might have said, “Whoa, what is this?”
It reminds me of Immaculée Ilibagiza  who was miraculously survived with seven other women in a small bathroom during the Rwandan genocide. Logically, there is no way any of them should have lived. The house they were staying in was searched thoroughly by angry mobs several times.  Immaculee, surrendered entirely to her faith and in the midst of what seemed a hopeless plight, had the thought that she needed to learn English.  She had never even considered going to America or any English speaking country but she asked and was given books and studied.  Now, she is an American citizen and tours throughout the world lecturing as an author and recipient of the Mahatma Gandhi Reconciliation and Peace Award.
Learning to recognize our inspired intuitive thoughts and acting on them despite them being out of the blue is different from becoming a slave or being bullied by our mind dictating what it thinks we should be doing. So often, I yearn for more time and when I get it there is a panic and my mind tries to fill the time and dictate what I should do rather than allowing me to embrace the time with what either I am being guided towards or allowing myself to be and see what bubbles up naturally.
 Dav Pilkey had ADHD as a child and was often forced to sit out in the hallway during school for being disruptive in the classroom.  He would sit in the hall and draw his own comic books.  His playing around, not being bullied by his stigma of being literally outcast, resulted in the successful Captain Underpants series. Not as prestigious as the Mahatma Gandhi award perhaps but it does bring in its share of smiles and combats bullies with great pranks.
Angie said, that she works so hard with her clients and with her responsibilities at home that she wants to make sure that with the limited free time she has that she is getting to choose the thoughts she is entertaining rather than allowing her mind to force them on her.
Here is to being a good host to our intuitive thoughts, regardless of how strange they are, and to standing up to bullies inside and out.

The Binary Code of Belief

Tremendous advancements occur within the space of a thought when we are able to shift our conception of what we believe.  Difference of opinion may infuriate us but it is only because we have forgotten how to occupy more than one space at a time.  Stationary conviction denies the expansion of the dance.
I have been having a wonderful conversation with my friend Angie Moates about being able to explore the paradox beliefs of theism and nontheism.
Pema Chodron in her book,  When Things Fall Apart says:
“The difference between theism and nontheism is not whether one does or does not believe in God.   It is an issue that applies to everyone, including both Buddhists and non-Buddhists.  Theism is a deep-seated conviction that there’s someone’s hand to hold: if we just do the right things,… someone will take care of us.  It means there’s always a babysitter available when we need one.  We all are inclined to abdicate our responsibilities and delegate our authority to something outside ourselves.  Nontheism is relaxing with the ambiguity and uncertainty of the present moment without reaching for anything to protect ourselves… It is total appreciation of impermanence and change.
In speaking about theism the poet and philosopher Shankara in his book Crest-Jewel of Discrimination, based on the Vedas says: “Brahman- the absolute existence, knowledge and bliss- is real.  The universe is not real.  Brahman and Atman ((hu-)man’s inner Self) are one.”
The central Jewish prayer, the Sh’ma also says that God is one.
One view suggests there is nothing real inside or out (so why get hung up? : ) , another view suggests there is only one real thing inside and out. (so why get hung up? ; ) The first can be represented by a zero (no-thing) (0) and the other by a one (1).  This makes me think of binary code in which programmers use combinations of zero and one to make up a computer ‘reality’.  What if our projected reality, Maya, or the illusion of reality as we know it is a form of this binary code?
In quantum physics, when you break down elementary matter it can be seen as a particle or a wave. Both the particle and the wave represent the same thing. This further represents the paradox of the zero and the one or as Einstein wrote:
It seems as though we must use sometimes the one theory and sometimes the other, while at times we may use either. We are faced with a new kind of difficulty. We have two contradictory pictures of reality; separately neither of them fully explains the phenomena of light, but together they do“- Albert Einstein
Here is what my friend Angie had to say:
“The Buddhist psychology, including the practice of meditation, helped me to reduce my dependence on my spiritual ego. For me, (the spiritual ego) this is the part of me that is always seeking, never finally settled with what is, and full of beliefs and truths that only keep me separated. I realized at one point that this was my addiction. For several years now, I haven’t been comfortable in any church setting.
I still believe in God, but prefer to feel God through nature, music, conversation, animals, etc. Mostly, I have a very personal practice that’s difficult to put into words. Pema taught me not to fear the pain, (our negativity) that comes up but to allow it and accept it. Last year at this time I had a hard time doing that! But I’ve learned that my spiritual ego was keeping me from going deeper with growth. Now, I finally understand what it means to truly love myself at the core. Whatever comes up, I do my best to be kind to myself in all ways, especially thoughts. This became more of a permanent state for me during meditation when I had a vision of myself as a mother, then a father, then finally a small child. It was like all parts of myself came together in a bond. It was pure goodness. And it’s all good, whatever comes up.” – Angie Moates
So here’s to “Loving ourselves at the core”, relieving neurosis so we can direct our hearts towards healing.