Category Archives: shiva

Come Dance with Me

“You’ve got to move to change the state you’re in.”- The Levins

“Dance, when you’re broken open. Dance, if you’ve torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you’re perfectly free.”

~ Rumi

Dance Sweet Hafiz

“Dance is the hidden language of the soul”

~ Martha Graham

“Life is the dancer and you are the dance.”

~ Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose

Calvin and Hobbes

This past Sunday, Julia and I joined some friends at The Ethical Culture Society of Bergen County where Stephanie Miner-Berger of another group called Peace Forest Sanctuary led a guided dance celebration for a multi-generational community with the help of DJ K.  She picked very specific songs that would appeal to the range of folks there.  It was done with such a purity of intention, it engaged people without having them feel self-conscious or instilling a need to demonstrate ego or prowess. It brought me back to all the weekly parties my friends and I would throw during high school and college. We were able to almost fuse our hearts together as a group because our love for one another was able to dance freely.  There is a freedom in dancing that takes you out of your intellectual grasp of reality and opens you up in ways you are not even aware of.

During the cool down yesterday, we were asked to make eye contact and sing “Lean on Me” to various people in the circle. My friend Michelle was next to me and there was such a generous earnestness in her connection with me that even before we got to the line, “no one can fill those of your needs that you won’t let show,” I was so chocked up that I could no longer sing or look at anyone. I have certainly sung “Lean on Me” hundreds of times but there was something about the intention of this community dance combined with the direct contact with an honest friendship that broke me open.  It made me realize that we hold on to so much. We may not be a stiff-upper lip society but even if we do express ourselves and have people to talk to, we are taking on what is being broadcast all around us as well as our mind’s minute to minute updates.  We are inundated with information and suffering that we have no way of fully processing or understanding. Even with the desire to heal and be healed, there is no way to do that intellectually.  This is of course one of the best reasons to take up meditation but there is also something about dancing that puts you in the seat of Being where the internal meets the external.

Shiva dancing

Someone reminded us after the dance of the Hindu myth where Shiva dances the universe into creation. Buckminster Fuller said that “God is a verb, not a noun.” When we are dancing, even if we were not able to physically move a muscle, we open ourselves to being a part of that same verb.  This of course reminds me of Daniel Ladinsky’s rendition of Hafiz’s poem “The God Who Only Knows Four Words” and The Levins’ lyrical take on it called “Every Child”:

Every Child– Hafiz/Ladinsky/Levin © 2013

Every child has known God. 

That’s quite a claim.

For they don’t know God

as a ‘God of Names’,  

as a ‘God of Don’ts’,  

a ‘God of Shame’,

of stormy moods or any strange behavior. 

Not a king or a queen, a giant, tyrant or savior.

But every child knows God.  Not as someone you can see,

But the God who only knows four words:

Come Dance with me!  Come Dance with me!

Come Dance!  Come Dance!  Come Dance!      

 —with me.  Oh, Come Dance with me!

(Listen here)

Come Dance with Me

May your stillness give way to a peace that cannot help but trip the light fantastic.

The benefits of sadness

Every hurt that is held collects within us. That part of us becomes cynical and critical of all help; suspicious of anything that is not known, that could fool us into further pain.  There is too much at stake to gamble on healing, so we keep a separate side to wait, to guard, to watch.  Still, we can bring ourselves vigilance and validate the protection we offer while slipping ourselves some nourishment and cheer.  Unification is not homogenization, but a balance.

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Julia and I made it home.  It was a successful trip seeing family and staying with friends including Matt Brady, multimedia producer, designer & artist, the perfect person to go see Pixar’s new film Inside Out with.  To say that we were emotionally moved is in line with the movie’s aim but our emotions experienced a paradigm shift. Not only were we grateful and proud of Pixar for making this intergenerational film but they have given us a tool for viewing ourselves in action. Without giving the plot away, we were amazed to see how they handled the relationship between joy and sadness and the role sadness plays in our lives.  h

I for one, as you know, am a huge advocate for joy.  One of the silent prayers I love to offer up calls for the end of all suffering. However, since we are all in the midst of great suffering both directly and indirectly, sadness plays a vital role in the release of our authentic tenderness and compassion.  It expands and connects us to one another.

In Judaism, when someone dies, we sit shiva, it is a period of up to seven days where the family does not go to work but stops the normal routine to open their home to friends and family to receive condolence calls. Traditionally, the person(s) sat on low stools or boxes, to be literally brought low so they could fully grieve the dead and receive relief from the love of the living.  Without this process, or one in which our sadness is validated and expressed, there can be a psychological and spiritual whiplash. This process also allows us to take stock in the community we may have forgotten and gives them the opportunity to be present with the love in their lives.

Ironically in Hinduism, Shiva is an aspect of God that is both the destroyer and transformer, which relates to our sadness destroying what we are holding on to too tightly so that we can transform this moment into bliss.

In Buddhism, bohicitta is the noble heart that breaks open with the recognition that you are not separate from those who are currently suffering. Toglen is the practice of breathing in their pain and breathing out relief for them as well as breathing in joy and sending it out to everyone.

Mother Teresa as well as the nuns that the show Call the Midwife, are based on, funneled their sadness into actively alleviating the suffering of others around them.

May our sadness be mingled with joy so that we are fully and most authentically here.

Love you, Ira