A Conversation between two books (When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron/ Letting Go by David R. Hawkings) and a TED talk (Listening to Shame by Brene Brown):
Listening to Shame: There was a part of me that was working hard to engineer staying small.
Letting Go: Blame is the world’s greatest excuse. It enables us to remain limited and small without feeling guilty. But there is a cost- the loss of our freedom. Also, the role of victim brings with it a self-perception of weakness, vulnerability, and helplessness…
Listening to Shame: Vulnerability is not weakness, it is our most accurate measurement of courage.
When Things Fall Apart: What we’re talking about is getting to know fear, becoming familiar with fear, looking it right in the eye- not as a way to solve problems, but as a complete undoing of old ways of seeing, hearing smelling, tasting and thinking. The truth is that when we really begin to do this, we’re going to be continually humbled. There’s not going to be much room for arrogance that holding on to ideals can bring. The arrogance that does arise is going to be continually shot down by our own courage to step forward a little further.
Letting Go: It is not a matter of right or wrong; it is merely a matter of taking responsibility for our own consciousness.
When Things Fall Apart:
When we don’t blame it on anyone else, and also don’t blame it on ourselves, then…we encounter our heart.
As one student so eloquently put it, “Buddha nature, cleverly disguised as fear, kicks our ass into being receptive.”
Listening to Shame:
If we’re going to find our way back to each other, vulnerability is going to be that path. And I know it’s seductive to stand outside the arena, because I think I did it my whole life, and think to myself, I’m going to go in there and kick some ass when I’m bulletproof and when I’m perfect. And that is seductive. But the truth is that never happens. And even if you got as perfect as you could and as bulletproof as you could possibly muster when you got in there, that’s not what we want to see. We want you to go in. We want to be with you and across from you. And we just want, for ourselves and the people we care about and the people we work with, to dare greatly.
Things Fall Apart: “Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.”