Transformation is something that occurs within the space between recognizing we are not alone and that external blame is an illusion.
Relying on the past while guarding against projections of fear keeps us rooted in our smallest understanding. We rise out of the ashes of our own misery and are capable of being clear and kind, which in itself is larger than life.
Last weekend, Julia and I collaborated with Sweet Can Productions to put on a circus show using the music of The Levins called Barely Contained. It was well received and we felt very fortunate to be allowed to be a part of something that was so funny, beautiful and well, sweet.
Our friends Jamie and Natasha have an incredible clown act called Coventry & Kaluza. They are a part of Sweet Can Productions and coordinated this show.
During the run, Jaime and Natasha went to see a show being put on by the students of a local clowning school. Jamie told us that there had been a rivalry between this school and the school where they had trained. Their school put a strong emphasis on coming up with story lines and practicing the beats within that story to convey it clearly and simply to the audience. This other school taught its clowns to work on their individual characters, to discover idiosyncrasies to present to the audience.
Jamie and Natasha’s teacher had criticized the teacher of this other school and the method he was teaching his students. This had started the controversy and subsequent rivalry. Fortunately, their instructor finally went to see the other school to see for himself. After that, he was able to tell his students that they were doing good work in the other school. He could see the merit in the other method.
I just finished reading a wonderful book by Jeff Bridges and Bernie Glassman called The Dude and the Zen Master, which is a conversation between the two authors using Jeff Bridges’ character the Dude from the movie, The Big Lebowski as a jumping off point.
At one point in the book Bernie says he was taught that if something is not a paradox, it isn’t fully true. There isn’t just one way of doing things correctly.
Excerpt from The Dude and The Zen Master:
Bernie: “…You’re helping people see that there is no one truth, that everything they believe or that others believe is just an opinion…We choose what we choose and then people have their opinions about it. Society may say, “you’re screwing yourself up…. Everybody has opinions… if I can really just be in touch with myself, I’m going to wind up doing things that are good for me and cause me the least pain.
Jeff: There are a number of spiritual traditions that say that you should treat the other person as God, or divine. Turning that around, you should treat yourself the same way, and with compassion.
Bernie: That’s my opinion too. Just don’t wallow in self- pity.
Jeff: Sometimes I can give myself shit no matter which way I go.
Bernie: So the practice of befriending the self is a good one for you.”
I love this concept that there is more than one way of working through and that we can befriend our self in the process. This is especially important in my partnership with Julia. We both have different approaches of working together that end up providing the needed balance to what we do. My tendency is to push and to go, go, go. Julia makes sure that we aren’t just spinning our wheels but are making traction with the ground. She reminds me to take stock in what is going on so we can savor it. She helps me slow down to make sure things are done right. I am pushing us to succeed, to “make it”. Julia is striving to make sure that when we arrive, we have something to worthwhile to share.
Bernie: In Zen we say that the other shore is right here under our feet. What we’re looking for- the meaning of life, happiness, peace- is right here. So the question is no longer, how do I get from here to there? The question is: How do I get from here to here?
Jeff: I sense these two impulses. One says, Do, do, do, achieve, achieve, achieve. The other says, Sssssshhh, please relax. Do you want to spend the rest of your life doing some sort of never-ending homework assignment? Sssshhh.
Bernie: I always have this red nose in my pocket, and if it looks like I’m taking things too seriously, or the person I’m talking to is taking them too seriously, I put the nose on.
Jeff: Clownsville, man. Tightness gets in the way of everything, except tightness.
Bernie: Our work may be important, but we don’t take it too seriously. Otherwise, we get attached to one relatively small thing and ignore the rest of life. *
This concept of opening up beyond tightness, to be able to see the paradox in everything and laugh at it keeps coming up so that I will embrace it.
Here’s to befriending ourselves so we can take stock of the fullness of our current picture and the beauty of everyone in it.
*- The conversation between Bernie and Jeff has been juggled in this article. It appears here slightly out of sequence.